Something To Do

At first, I didn't think eating was a topic worthy of a blog post.  Especially one that targets single parents.  After all, everyone reading this eats.  Every family now days juggles meal times and food preferences among individuals within the family.  And, unfortunately, most families in America have someone in it that struggles with some form of weight issue.

I am currently reading one of those books that has the potential to be life changing.  Nearly every paragraph contains a bit of information I feel compelled to highlight or write a note about.  What I hate to admit is, that it is about weight loss.  As a Health Major, I always figured I knew all there was to know about nutrition and behavior change.  And that my issue is with behavior change.  That's why I picked up this book, in particular.  It is about behavior change from a Spiritual perspective.  And I can't seem to put it down!

The name of the book is ”Made to Crave” by Lysa TerKuerst.  It is like nothing I've ever read before.  Life changing I tell you!

But this post is not about the book.  It's about why I think the struggle to maintain one's weight is different for the single parent...or at least for me.

(Please let me clarify:  when I say, ”single parent”, I DON'T just mean an unmarried parent.  A single parent is any parent who - for whatever reason - is making a decision on behalf of the family ALONE.  You can be a single parent in one situation, or in all situations - whether it is because you do not have the support of the other parent, or because there is no other parent.  It does not matter.)

So, when I talk about how difficult it is to be one adult trying to convince 2 kids to eat what I cook, and you say, ”Well, my husband complains as much as the kids so that's like having 3 kids!”- you are right!  In that case, you ARE a single parent!  And if your partner never offers to cook or even grill a streak, again, I say, in that situation, you ARE a single parent! 

That is why I decided that my struggle with my weight was worth writing about.  When you are responsible for motivating a family, yet don't have anyone at home who support s you, holds you accountable and cheers you on, it really does compound the problem.  At some point, you have to refill YOUR well, so to speak.

So, for me, tackling the problem of my weight has to be a spiritual one.  Because God is the only other parent in my house.  One of my favorite quotes from this book, ”Made To Crave” is: ”Shallow desires produce only shallow efforts.  Deep desires produce deep efforts.”  In other words, if I just want to loose weight to look good and, of course, be healthier (both worldly in nature), my efforts are going to reflect that.  They, too, will be ”shallow” and worldly because I am relying on the world as my ideal and as my support.  However, as I have started to develop a deeper, more spiritual desire to be the best I can be in order to fulfill God's purpose for my life and glorify the body he has blessed me with (his ”temple”), my efforts have become more meaningful and less temporary.  I am beginning to ”crave” victory over my weight as much as I crave food.  (cinnamon rolls!)

As I continued to read, I began to think about WHY I crave certain foods.  What is it about cinnamon rolls or salt vinegar chips, for instance that makes me not care for about 10 minutes about any progress I've made?  By jove!  I realized that I crave extremes...extremely sour and extremely sweet.  And I think it has something to do with feeling restricted in my life, or, as much as I despise hearing my kids say it, BORED.

As parents, we willingly sacrifice so much for our kids.  We sacrifice time, money, even dreams.  But for single parents, there is no reprieve.  There is no option to leave the kids with the other parent so enjoy some exercise, get outdoors, or even take a bath for that matter.  There is no break.  Some divorced parents get every other weekend to catch their breath, but by then, it is just that, recovering from exhaustion.  Others can take advantage of friends and family to catch a quick vacation, but for many, there is literally no adult time.  So, one must do the best they can with what they have...at home.  And what is the one thing that we all have easy access to, that creates pleasure for the entire family at little our no extra cost?  FOOD!  Not just any food, but food that stimulates the senses and creates excitement.

I am in this category.  Food has truly become my hobby.  I can do it any time, anywhere, with anyone.  I can travel to 3 different places in one meal (and I do prefer Italy, Mexico, and the wild west) and take my children with me!  And, it's a hobby that is appropriate for any situation and associated with all my best memories.  Yes, eating makes me very happy.  Ugh!!!

The next challenge is to find a replacement.  This is why it HAS to be God.

1 John 2:  15-16

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life —is not from the Father but is from the world.