Transparency

Glass can be cloudy or transparent

trans·par·ent:  

[trans-pair-uhnt, -par-] –adjective

1. having the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen.

"This little light of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine!

This little light of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine,

Let it shine,

Let it shine,

Let it shine!"

Not only did my Granny share her love of glass with me, she also shared her love of singing.  Most particularly, hymns.  One of the very first songs I remember singing was "This Little Light of Mine".  Even though she was in her late 60's and had the purest white hair, she played and sang with me as if she were still a child.  I can very vividly remember her teaching me the hand motions.  We would "Hide it under a bushel? NO!" with such great enthusiasm.  She made sure I sang, "Shine all over Lewisville!" and I ran all over the house with my fingers swirling in the air above my head.

Very early, I learned that as a Christian, I had a great responsibility to "let my little light shine". Of course, I think my siblings would say that this probably gave me an inflated sense of my own importance, but I have always felt like I had a duty to shine HIS light to the best of my ability.

Matthew 5:16 (New International Version) - In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

It has been longer than I intended since I posted my last blog.  As a single mother, it is especially difficult to  "keep up with the Jones'"...especially since I'm only ONE "Jones"!

So, my first excuse for not writing is not having enough time. I have been trying to make morning Bible study a committed part of my routine.  Last week, I pulled my 11 year old daughter out of her exemplary rated public middle school due to an increasing amount of anxiety and began homeschooling.  I spent the past weekend on a retreat with our church choir preparing for the first Christmas Mass I have done in many years.  On the trip, I came down with a nasty cold which almost prevented me from singing on Sunday morning.  Still, on Monday and Tuesday, I took my daughter to a zoo and then a wildlife preserve to study the animals. She wants to be a zoologist and I thought it would be a great way to "kick off" her homeschool experience.  This really wiped me out as my cold didn't take kindly to the dust and animal dander and I was in bed most of Wednesday and Thursday.  My soon-to-be 16 year old is an Advanced Placement student who is also active in church and school activities and therefore, requires frequent taxi service.  I am doing "homeschool" Driver's Education with her.  Additionally, I started a pet sitting business within the past 2 weeks.  Add to that volunteer work with the Humane Society and fostering a new dog, and you have just another crazy week.  Now, I know that many of you who are not single parents are thinking that this sounds like your life, too.  Please keep in mind that I also fix my own flats, do all of the lawn work, trouble-shoot the garbage disposal, and do my own fence repair.

So, in the midst of all of this, and with a hundred different ideas floating around in my head about what I want to share, I became very overwhelmed by what exactly to write.  The following is a copy of an e-mail I sent to Rebecca Carrell (author of "The Daily Bread" and creator of the website "Love, Serve, Shine!") this morning:

Rebecca, I have run into a time management issue and would love your advice.  When I am going through my day, I think of a whole range of topics to write about in my blog and I either don't have a pen, don't have paper, or am driving.  I'll think of 3 or 4 things a day.  Then, I get home and am distracted by all that is going on and put off writing until "It's quiet and I can think".  Well, by then, my brain is either fried or, well, the quiet just never comes.  What does your 'writing routine' look like?

In the mornings, I wake up fresh and ready to write.  I begin to pray about it and cannot remember where I wanted to go in my writing or cannot decide which avenue to take.  I keep praying for clarity of purpose.  So, again, I am "waiting" on that clarity.  There are SO MANY things I feel called to communicate, yet, I am not writing...

Thank you for the insight!

Rebecca and I talked on the phone for half an hour.  We had an amazing conversation.  But, she said something in particular that I really believe God intended for her to communicate to me.  "You know, Sherry," she said, "your wisdom and knowledge are not really what is going to touch people.  What is going to impact them the most is your vulnerability."  Wow!  Talk about an "a-ha moment"!  I have been trying so hard to carefully choose my words and say just the right things, that I lost sight of my purpose.  It is through my own transparency that I can be the most beneficial.

As Rebecca so eloquently reminded me, this blog is God's gift to me.  It is my opportunity to heal as well as an opportunity to be a beacon of the Holy Spirit.

John 1:5: The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.  (Praise God for that! LOVE this one!  Can I get an "Amen"?!)

 2 Corinthians 4:6: For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

Like church glass, we come to the Lord stained, warped, and broken.  But, if we remain transparent; if we search and reveal even the roughest parts of ourselves and allow the light of the Holy Spirit to shine through us - to wash away our burdens and imperfections - the light reveals in us something truly glorious.

So, I have decided that I am going to stop trying to come up with the perfect words and just let God do the work.  Novel idea, huh?  I am just simply going to tell my story.